Women's History Month

Dear Lost In Living Friends,

Its March and Spring is very close. It's also Women's History Month and definitely an appropriate time to talk about women both past and present. We are pushing to complete Lost In Living by this Summer. Your support has given us the opportunity to work with an experienced editor for two months, full-time, and we have already made a lot of progress. We couldn’t do this without you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Lost In Living is about the intersection of motherhood (parenthood) and the artist’s life. What you will see in this film are four women who intimately examine and reveal how they manage to do both. These stories reflect how we all struggle with the balance of family commitment and personal work. Thank you for understanding the importance of this film.

• We need to raise more funds for the following:

1. Composer Fee ($2,500) – Ron Rennells, a talented and prolific composer, who created the score for my most recent film, Plain Art, has signed on to create an original score for Lost In Living.
2. Trip to Fargo ($1,000) - One more shoot is needed to document Marjorie Schlossman’s Opening of her one woman show of paintings in June.
3. Editor Fee ($3,000) – Our editor is already working at a reduced rate because she is passionate about the film. We need a few more weeks of time with her.

• And we have a special offer for you:

We are giving away a DVD of my most recent feature film Plain Art to each person who contributes $50.00 or more to Lost In Living. Just make your donation on the website and a DVD will be sent to you.

Please view the trailer below:



Description of Plain Art:
In 2005, Fargo, North Dakota painter, Marjorie Schlossman (one of the subjects of Lost In Living), asked six architects to design and build art chapels that she could paint in. The only requirements were to stay within a $25,000 budget, make them portable and include a spiritual element without the trappings of religion. Filmed over two years, Plain Art intimately documents the risks, struggles and successes of this creative process. The film elucidates the unique convergence of art, architecture and spirituality as well as the conflicts that arise when an artist funds her own large, ambitious public art project. In a pragmatic and rural community like Fargo, abstract art is not always welcome and understood and the architects were asked to think more like artists and less like engineers. Plain Art shows people revisiting their idealistic notions of creativity and recapturing their own personal faith and spirituality

• If you didn’t get a chance to see any of the new clips that have been posted on Facebook each week, here are links to those. And while you’re at it you can subscribe to the youtube channel here and receive notifications every time I upload a new clip.

• Please like the facebook page here. Each week I post a short clip from the film, some of them clips that may not even make it into the finished film. See outtakes and in depth observations and reflections because you liked the facebook page.

• Rachel Power, Author of the book The Divided Heart: Art and Motherhood, recently wrote about Lost In Living here. The Divided Heart is an extremely worthwhile book featuring conversations with some of Australia’s most prominent writers, artists and musicians about combining the twin passions of art and motherhood.

• As always, all contributions are completely tax deductible. It’s easy to contribute by visiting the website here and clicking on the donate button. If you are not comfortable donating on-line, please feel free to write a check to my non-profit fiscal sponsor “Filmmakers Alliance” and mail it to me at 1218 East Palm Street, Altadena, CA 91001. You will receive a thank you/receipt letter for your taxes.

Help us complete Lost In Living this Summer.

I am so, so grateful.
Mary

Does Art come out of isolation?

Where does your art come from? Would you agree that it comes out of isolation? Share your comments and thoughts on this subject.

Like the Lost In Living Facebook page here.

Contribute to the Lost In Living Film here.

We are still raising money for more editing time with our editor, composer fees, one more video shoot in Fargo, North Dakota and publicity materials. All contributions are tax deductible. Thank you!!!

-M

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Do you remember the dreams you had of what you wanted to be when you grew up? What did you want to be when you were five? Were your parents willing to hear it? Have you become what you wanted to become?

Big questions worth reflecting on. I admire Kristina for having the big dream of being an actress, especially because her family did not encourage that. I was often too afraid to even let my dreams be known. Would I get laughed at? Would my parents think it was foolish?

How did Kristina break out of "people like us don't do things like that?" How do we all do it? What drives us?

You will definitely know more about that when you see the completed film "Lost In Living." Share your feelings and experiences right here or email me directly: marytrunk@sbcglobal.net. Thank you for your support and participation.

-M

Why, Why, Why?

What helps you put things into perspective? For me it's making this movie. And your support, participation and help have made that possible. I am so incredibly grateful.

Of course we still need more help, more contributions and more of you to spread the word. It's easy to contribute on the website here. All donations are tax deductible. Editing is progressing and we are hoping for a Summer release. No contribution is too small and we keep going as far as we can. Thank you for your help and keep watching - more clips coming!

All the very best,
Mary

When do you feel optimistic?

BIG THANK YOU to all of you out there who are supporting my film "Lost In Living." Hope you enjoy this clip and please feel free to comment and share! -Mary

Only Connect...

“ONLY CONNECT…” E. M. Forster

Dear Friends of Lost In Living,

I’m in the homestretch of completing my film. But I still need at least $5000 to pay for the very experienced editor I’ve hired to finish the work she’s begun and to pay a small fee to the amazing composer who will create a completely original score for the entire film. That’s a big chunk of money, I know. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t be writing to you to help contribute to that amount. But I thought, wow, I have over 400 friends on Facebook. What if each person contributed $10 to my project? That would be such a tremendous help. Each of you would be contributing to a film that I’ve spent more than seven years working on. A film that speaks for so many mothers, women, parents, children, wives, husbands and friends who want to be engaged in what it means to be a creative and productive person in the world.

Some of you have already contributed and I am more than grateful. Your support has already gone a long way. With just a little more help this film will be finished by Summer 2012. Every person who contributes will have their name in the final credits of the film and every person who contributes $20 or more will receive their very own personal DVD of the film.

I’ve sent you the trailer and clips from the film. I’ve posted these numerous times on facebook. You have seen what the women in the film are sharing. Some of you have even shared your stories. Stories which are truly moving, honest and insightful. I thank you for that. It is obvious to me that this film is far reaching and allows people to open up about their situations: to share their experiences and connect.

Think of it this way, you are participating in a project that gives voice to people who often get mired in the every day lives of taking care of children, partners and a household. People who also have the deep desire and drive to create art and reach out to the rest of the world. For them this film is one way, sometimes the only way, for them to connect with others. They are saying and creating important and relatable things. You’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen the clips – these women are deep thinkers who strive to be productive, vital and resonant. You can help them do that with this film. You can help yourself connect by actively participating. Whether it’s contributing financially, sharing your story, commenting on the blog or facebook page or emailing your feedback, I am so grateful and I am listening.

All you have to do is go to the website here and hit the donate button. There you can pay with a credit card or paypal. If you don’t feel comfortable contributing on the internet you can write a check to my non-profit 501(c)3 fiscal sponsor, “Filmmakers Alliance” and send it to me at 1218 East Palm Street, Altadena, CA 91001. You will receive a receipt from Filmmakers Alliance thanking you.

No contribution is too small and all contributions are fully tax-deductible. In addition to a financial contribution one of the most valuable ways you can support me is to forward this blog post to as many people as possible. I know many of you, like me, are also trying to raise money for your own projects and contributing will be a burden to you, as it would for me. What I hope is that we can help each other stay aware of our projects, so we can bring them up in conversation, spread the word and make sure our worthy projects get made.

To view the ten-minute trailer of the film, please go here or .

Please become a fan on Facebook here and check back here for updates about the film.

Subscribe to the youtube channel here where you can see all the selected clips I have posted.

I hope you will consider making a $10 contribution to the film and then passing this message on to your friends and family who will resonate with this project. Please know I also completely understand if you simply can’t or don’t want to contribute. I get it. We all have our specific interests and we should all respect them. And I thank you for listening to me and reading this letter.

My heartfelt gratitude,

Mary

Share Your Stories - Excerpts

Dear Lost In Living Film Supporters:

We are pushing forward with the editing and hoping to complete the film by this Summer. Your help and encouragement has kept me going and kept this project going. I am so grateful. We still need help paying for more time with an editor and paying for a composer so your continued support is much appreciated. Thank you. In the meantime I have a lot of great stories and clips to share with you. Enjoy.

A few months ago I asked you to share your own stories about being a mother and an artist. Or perhaps stories of friends, relatives or acquaintances. I was quite moved by the responses I received. So many people shared their pain, their insights and their joys. It is clear to me that the women in Lost In Living are not alone and that this film is an important portal for women’s voices. With the permission of the writers, I have included some of the excerpts of those stories here. I am touched by the candor, the honesty and the depth of these experiences and I hope you will be too. And if you’d like to add your stories or comment on what you read here, I would love to hear what you have to share. Please feel free to email me personally (marytrunk@sbcglobal.net) or comment on the blog or facebook page here. I am listening!

Parisa ( Photographer/Filmmaker):

If I stop having creative thoughts and ideas, I’m lost and depressed. It’s the thing that ‘makes everything alright’. And I truly think that without art and a creative outlet, the world is a soul-less place and that we are all creating in one form or another just to stay ‘alive’; some of us in the visual arts, some of us as mothers!

But to sum it all up in one paragraph, since I have had kids, I have earned very little money. My husband is the bread-winner and even though this has been stressful at times, he has been really supportive of my career. He understands that if I can’t do what I love to do, I am miserable and feel like I am letting myself down.

When asked what I do, I always say I’m a photographer. Even though I think of myself an artist, I always feel pretentious and self- indulgent saying it, unless I’m taking my practice seriously enough and making a living out of it.

My parents were not ‘artists’ but I guess my mother was creative in her own way. She was flamboyant and glamorous and she loved art and beautiful things, so perhaps I had a lot of exposure through her. But also being a girl in a middle-upper class Iranian family, the notion of work and career had little significance. My parents assumed I would marry someone and be looked after. My parents also lost all of their money, so I don’t have the luxury that I thought I did when growing up. There is no trust fund that will pay for my kids’ education or one that would buy us a house. So a lot of the internal issues I struggle with re: money have a lot to do with my upbringing…. And part of me feels like I don’t have the right to make art. Making art is for the rich.

Laurie (Violinist):

At this point the things that I have given up and the things I have gained have become so intertwined that I hardly know one from the other. For example, I've all but given up playing gigs on a regular basis, so that I can be with my family. But at the same time, I learned that it's okay to stop being someone's performing monkey and to do my own thing, to create my own artistic space in the world instead of begging to be a part of something already established. When my kids (now 11 and 14) were young and at home so much, I had to stop now and then and take them to the park instead of steaming away with my own projects. I learned that my very willful and directed work ethic wasn't always the formula for inspiration, that sometimes dropping everything to go outside actually helped me return to my work with a different perspective. I learned so much more about teaching and communicating, and also about levels of communication. The question, how do I explain this to a six-year-old? also somehow relates to, how do I explain my art to someone on the outside of it, without talking down or making them want to run away? I no longer want to explode when I have to drop everything to help my kids. My art will be there, but my role in creating their lives is a limited one and a thing of such beauty. They are learning to create their own way, they've always been learning that. My art is with me always, I have a little more trust in that.

Anne (Choreographer/dancer):

I am a choreographer/dance teacher and mother of 2 young girls. I have danced since I was a child and have been making dances since my early 20's when I met my husband. Now, I am 38. Although I think I have known this for many years, it has just become glaringly real that my husband is deeply threatened by my creative side. He feels completely abandoned when I take on new projects. It has come to the point where he cannot ask me about my dancing life at all.

You ask what do you give up?

I am contemplating giving up the fantasy that my husband can celebrate my creativity. I don't know if I can.

Becky (Actor/Writer):

I've been putting off answering these questions because my main feeling about being creative now that I have children is that I'm not anymore -- and I feel bad about it. I love having two children -- I wanted two. I think if I just had one I'd have things more under control in my life, but it probably wouldn't be that different creatively. My biggest creative obstacle is myself. I could do it around the kids if I tried harder.

When asked what I do, I say I'm an actress. I've always defined myself as that and still feel connected to it, although I'm starting to feel comfortable with writing. I'd never say I'm a writer because I haven't made any money at it, sad. My creative expression has changed since becoming a parent -- I'm not sure who I am creatively right now because before I used to do a lot of comedy that was based on my crazy behavior and I used my 'cuteness' for lack of a better word to be funny. After having kids I no longer feel cute, appealing, or wild anymore, so I've had a hard time adjusting. I don't want to cross over yet to playing old ladies, but I fear that's what I am now. On the positive side, I've started to trust other forms of expression and am beginning to feel comfortable with a more subtle comedy, and have begun trusting my writing voice more than ever, and allowing myself to write without judging as much if it's funny or not.

I think the importance I put on success is much less since I've had kids, so if I never had kids and then had less success as I aged, I would be very depressed. Having kids just made all of that world, worrying about how others perceived me, and competing with other actresses, and all that, seem shallow and less important. But I think that in the true creative sense of acting and theatre and writing, having children has made me more geniune in my experience with it and less superficial.

I think I am the parent I want to be. I'm completely connected to my kids. I'm not perfect, but I don't know what that is. I show my anger to my kids when I'm genuinely angry, and I try to be honest with them all the time. I would like to give them a better example of a woman who's confident and productive creatively, I guess that's the thing I'm not doing. And that's the main thing missing in my life. And I'm struggling along, but maybe I'm not one of the geniuses I compare myself to and wish I were, but I'm one of the half-way artists in the middle who never does anything truly great, but appreciates those who do.

On failing as a parent:

Suzan:
I am sure my daughter will have years of therapy even though I swore that I would never raise her like my mom did. I just think it’s part of the genetics – we love, we try, we fail but we do the best we can.

Jamie:
My own dear mother would have said, “the really sad thing is, this is not the worst you will ever feel.” Horrifyingly Zen.

Maggie:
I fail every day, multiple times. Acknowledging this is both a relief and an incentive. And I try to remember Scout’s description of her father Atticus in To Kill a Mockingbird: “Jem and I found our father satisfactory: he played with us, he read to us, and treated us with courteous detachment.”

Jenny:
I'm learning, and will continue to learn, that I fail as a parent when I don't show them how to be authentic to the person I am. I'm finding that as I stay true to who I am, I'm a better person, friend, mother and wife. It's sooooo easy to lose yourself once you have kids. It's so easy to fall into becoming what you "think" you should be but without being true to myself, I fail at everything! What is hard is now finding myself again after losing myself for so long!

On what we give up when becoming a mother:

Maggie:

The origin of the word sacrifice means 'to make holy.' Having children should be viewed in this light, not in the modern definition of sacrifice which means giving something up. When we choose to have children, we engage in the act of making something holy or sacred (perhaps life, living, etc), an act that challenges who we think we are, what we think is the right way to live, etc. When we choose to do anything in life, we should do it in this light so we remain dynamic rather than static in our definition of self. For when we think of having children as having to give something up, we undermine having children as a choice and are tempted to think of it as a burden on or challenge to our pre-determined lives. Accepting children into one's life is the attempt to make life sacred and fuller; it is not about trying to maintain one's former self but creating a new, improved self. Just my thoughts . . .

"All Serious Daring Starts From Within." Eudora Welty

Happy New Year! I hope 2012 will be the year we dare ourselves to take the risks we've always wanted to take, to know that what we do is important to someone, somewhere and to enjoy the challenges ahead. Thank you all for your support. This clip of Merrill Joan Gerber gives you a glimpse into her process and challenges. To read more about her and her work please visit her website here.

To make a tax-deductible contribution to LOST IN LIVING, please visit the website here. You can also mail a check written out to my fiscal sponsor, "Filmmakers Alliance," c/o Mary Trunk, 1218 East Palm Street, Altadena, CA 91001. Thank you!!! -Mary